of broken mirrors…

mellow moods

I am back after the painfully long hiatus. I hope all is well at your end! Being busy with work and handling alter personalities & their data keeping and working in the odd shifts, this time I really had to make time and efforts to write something. Been struggling with some physical troubles with an arm in the sling and all. Anyhow, life goes on!

Something happened on Friday that has stuck in my heart like a broken glass in barefoot. It’s my mirror. Someone who knew everything about me…who was close to me even more than my best friend. The mirror I carried for the last 12 years – not to look at but to look into, broke on Friday. My cousin brother broke the mirror by mistake. I shouldn’t have felt bad about it considering that he has the tendency to break things – accidentally. When it happened, I really acted cool. I didn’t lose temper and I didn’t utter a word. Despite my usual temperamental self, I didn’t react or overreact to the whole situation avoiding the guilt factor on his part. Let’s face it, to others, it’s just a mirror!

So, this mirror was extremely close to my heart for some special reasons. It wasn’t made of some special material or wasn’t a gift from a special someone, still I feel like I have lost a loved one!

We all have this one person/moment/thing/memory from our lowest phase that we have to be thankful for. This mirror for me, represented my victory over my low phase in life. Some things happened with me (story for some other day!) I brought myself to socially acceptable condition with help of only two things – my willpower and this mirror. I used to talk to myself in it. No matter how childish and unnatural it sounds now, I have gained a lot through those self talks. I used to laugh and cry and cheer myself up with help of the mirror when I had the excruciating feeling of being left behind.

Another reason why I feel I should write about the mirror here is, how strong I feel right now, despite losing my only secret-keeper. As much as sad and frustrated I feel about the fact that I’m not really worried that I am all alone again! I only feel that I no longer have the solo witness to my struggles but I am thinking positive about it. These changes are new and unknown to my nature of getting sinking feelings and feeling lost and everything of that sort. Just as a test, I tried to narrate my story to the Guy and he said, I’ll make your mirror as good as new! What he meant by that I don’t know. But, now I know where this positivity is seeping in me from!