May 23, 2014
It takes no pains for me to announce that I have the worst and the world’s wildest mood swings. All those close to me can easily vouch to this. I was so pissed with myself for no apparent reasons. Despite that, I am really upbeat today. It has nothing to do with the fact that today is Friday.
May 27, 2014
Well, that was my story saved in the drafts, not too long ago! Upbeat…happy…lively! And today, I am quite down and dusted on the emotional front. I think I have mentioned this once before and that’s what I mean by ‘wild mood swings’. When I am down, I feel like the whole world is against me and I am all alone. Today, however, is a different day and different feeling altogether! Apart from the tears I shed not too long after waking up, I am still feeling like crying for many reasons. Still not being able to manage the art of conversation is going to be my biggest hurdle and I am fully aware of it.
Despite the mood though, I am excited to share the news that my parents are visiting tomorrow, which will make me upbeat, happy and lively – tomorrow! In other news, I am still trying to pursue my long-lost dream of cracking the Civil Service Exam, which is set to be held in August of this year. All said and done, I need to start with adding a hint of discipline into my lifestyle and start opening my mouth at the right time and for the right cause. Communication is the key and I have learned it the hard way, man!
And about the feeling of ‘being alone’ that I often have, I have found out my own psychoanalytical approach to all these apparent ‘sinking’ feelings. They are not really that sinking after all. The kind of social surroundings I am in these days, have made me realize one thing, more often than not, people stick together for a motive! Correct me if I am wrong. I have seen so many friendships/relationships stuck on a simple bond of ‘I am with you, because you help me’.
Sometimes I feel glad that I only bond with the people who I actually care about and vice versa. This is not just sour grapes, I really mean it! But, I have also realized that the feelings of ‘being alone’ and ‘loneliness’ are worlds apart from each other. Honestly, I would prefer being alone than staying in the wrong company. I take pride in myself over a lot of things and one of them is my ability to motivate myself whenever I am down. If you have some better motivational prep up, bring it on!